TIS THE SEASON - Men's Specialty Sandals

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TIS THE SEASON - Men’s Specialty Sandals

By Brent Evans | July 16, 2008

Tis the season to form armpit circles of sweat after a mere saunter to the mailbox for your 20% off coupon from Bed, Bath, & Beyond. A simple twenty yards down a driveway and twenty yards back equals shower time. Ahhhh, summer . . . isn’t it refreshing!

With the dog days of summer upon us, I have two suggestions: 1) Wear as little as possible 2) Drink the seasonal brew beverage, Festina Peche, from the Dogfish Head Craft Brewery. However, when handed this tasty and tart brewery delight, one needs to be able to crack it open. Assuming that suggestion number one has been followed, a lack of clothing normally means a lack of pockets. In turn, less pockets equals no bottle opener. Bottomline, who’s going to open up the Peachy beer!

Introducing the flip-flop with a bottle opener. Since that doesn’t sound cool enough for the room, here’s the official name: Reef Fanning Bottle Opener Flops. Even without the “flip” to the “flop”, it still doesn’t seem to hip it up enough. Nevertheless, the magical name of “Reef” is seen here, who are the same shoemakers that have delivered other cushiony fun footwear for the ball and sole.

Abiding by suggestion number one, these sandals count towards wearing as little as possible. Then, due to the lack of convenience to be lugging around a bottle cap opener, why not slam it up underneath the sandal. Does it work? Yes. Does anything get caught up in it? No. Should one believe this writer? Yes.

An apology has to be made for the prior usage of the word “Introducing”. These beer aiding thong sandals have been around for well over a year. However, the writer (reporter, author, whatever) felt obligated to battletest them. To beaches, boardwalks, and backyard bar-b-ques, they were worn. Not only were the feet comfortable, but the owner of these dogs became an instant hit.

“Need that beverage opened?” states the flop bearing stud.

“Why yes!” is the quick answer along with an outstretched arm, hand, and bottled beer.

Once the beer is securely in hand, the foot instinctively kicks up and crosses over the other leg. The bottle is then dramatically dropped down to the underside of the thonged wonder. A clinking sound can be heard as the cap is locking into place. Finally, the hand bearing bottle is snapped upwards.

“POP!”

“Wow . . . thanks!” With a look of amazement, the next question is then always posed, “Where did you get those sandals?”

They’re comfortable, they’re hip, they’re Reef Fanning Bottle Opener Flops. Only suggestion - they shouldn’t be worn in backyards bearing poodles who don’t know how to do their duty in the brush. In fact, just don’t go in those yards at all. Instead keep looking for the one with the Dogfish Head Brew. Now, do you need that Peachy beer opened up for you?

Buy | $44.95

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